Update... May 2, 2007

Good morning campers! Hope everyone is having a great May the 2nd!

Well, let’s all dive right into the “update”, go ahead the water is… well, it’s in there! Glass is half-full… half-full… can someone get me a fuller glass?

I just got back from Phoenix. Yes, Phoenix. As many of you know my twin brother on his climb up the corporate ladder, climbed another rung not to long ago and that rung had him climb right into Phoenix. It has been a good move for his family, they are enjoying a brand new house with an in-ground pool in the backyard. Will get back to that later.

I went out to Phoenix for my nephews birthday, he just turned 8. Now, your probably thinking, turning eight he would have had a BIG party with his friends and then the traditional family party with his… well, family! Poor Mitchell didn’t get the party with his friends. I asked my sister-in-law, “So did he have a party with his friends from school?” I am waiting for the “Yes”… so that I can follow up with “What kind of party? Mitchell what did you get?!?!?!” But the answer will shock and amaze you… she shrugged and said “Nah”.

We were at a Mexican restaurant, it wasn’t tex-mex, it wasn’t Mexican, it was Native American-Mex, straight off the reservation. It was colorful, really colorful with random palm trees everywhere, a tucan here or there thrown in for good measure, the meat in the meat dishes was sort of smashed… not sliced, not chopped, sort of a cross between chopped, sliced, and pureed. It had the consistency of over-cooked sloppy joe filler, and that is weird for chicken. But it isn’t the food that has me waiting by the hostess stand. Nope, it is the free bean dip! This bean dip is free… like salsa, but they still give you salsa! You have nothing to lose, you get the salsa and chips that like Pavlov’s dog you start salivating for upon entering ANY Mexican food establishment (regardless of the décor or meat texture, I am still hoping that was chicken, please God let that have been chicken… hard to say since so many things are purported to taste like chicken). This bean dip is creamy, spicy, and beany. I really need to transplant this stuff into Texas… I could be a millionaire!!!

But I digress, let’s get back to Mitchell, I got distracted by the bean dip, and now I am a little hungry but that is my own issue to deal with. Anyway, she told me he didn’t have a party with his friends. I looked over at this little boy, his blond hair is in this chili bowl hair cut, his little round face is so sweet, he has the cutest freckles marking his cheeks and nose, and eyes as blue as this comforter I had when I was a kid… it was really blue! Mitchell is the poster child for the “All American Kid”. I looked at this kid and I started to hear this song in my head “All by myse-e-elf, don’t wanna BEEE all by myself”, it was really sad. This was a bare bones birthday, my hope was that he doesn’t really remember it and it doesn’t scar him for life. But my mom and I flew out there for the family party, Glass Half Full! So he did have some company and some presents to open, his other grandmother had also sent a gift. So, he got a new video game from me, another from his other grandmother, some always handy cash from my mom, and a video game from his parents! Not a bad little haul for a kid that is only eight. We left the restaurant and went home to open the gifts and literally go to bed. I was exhausted, it was 10pm Phoenix time which is midnight Dallas time.

It is sort of strange, if I travel West I am tired. I have been to Europe, and it was return flight that wiped me out, and I mean wiped me out, I was a narcoleptic for two days. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and I had NO energy. I was completely sapped. But the flight to Europe I was fine, got off the plane and could keep on going! I flew out to Hawaii… the flight to Hawaii was Westbound and there I am for the first day or so, “Zombie Martha”, hardly able to construct a coherent or order my meal at the local diner, which serves fish…they all serve fish. I flew home from Hawaii, same long flight, but I was fine when I got home. Now, here I am in Phoenix and that 2 hour time change has me beat down. I have a solution for myself and my body’s Eastbound travel preference. I just need to get on a plane and keep traveling East. If I go to Europe I need keep on going. The up shot, I will never be exhausted and I will get to see the world, maybe only from 30,000 feet, but still see it! Glass Half Full.

My Mom and I were sharing the guest bedroom and the Tempurpedic Swedish Sleep System bed that was in it! That Glass is lookin’ a little fuller. I have one word for all the insomniacs out there, INVEST! If I were going to war with Iraq, I would send a million of these over there as an anonymous gift, the entire country would be sleeping while we take over, soundly sleeping, and they would wake up to a new regime. We woke up Saturday morning to my brother starting to prepare a feast, every meal at my brother’s house is a feast… and my brother has the Viking gut to prove it. He made omlets, hash browns, and English muffins. It was delicious. The women get up to do the cleaning and my brother decides he is going to get a basketball goal for the pool for Mitchell for his birthday, sounds harmless enough, right? He ends up taking my mother and going “into town”. I didn’t think much of it, until they left and Mendy said, “They wont be back for over an hour and a half”. What? I felt like I was in a old western, and John Wayne was “going into town”… was it really that far? I looked around and saw the desert, the tumble weeds… and this was just in our subdivision! John Wayne where are you?!?!? I hope they took some water, a map, a satellite cell phone, extra gasoline, and some bean dip in case something bad happened. I mean seriously they could attacked by Indians… they have to drive through THE RESERVATION to get to town. While they are in town we are in the pool with the kids and having a great time. Does that glass look half full? You’re damn right it does! They get back and we start making lunch, I wasn’t hungry at all, but I wasn’t going to turn down another feast-like spread. I pitch right in and put my spin on the sandwiches… I get out the roast beef, the muenster cheese, the olives, the mushrooms, the onions, and the toaster oven! Toasted those bad boys up and topped them with lettuce and tomato, envelope together, cut and serve! Mendy made this mozzarella tomato sald, so good! And we had horse radish dip (there seems to be a lot of dips in this weekend) and fruit. It was great. We were full and happy and ready to assemble the goal. Precariously half full.

Now, this basketball goal, has a fiberglass (I think) back board, metal hoop with net, and a 50 to 75 pound POLE that attaches to the backboard via an extremely sturdy and well-made metal plate. So, my brother being the handy man that he is, or likes to think that he is… decides that he can do this on his own. After realizing he needs a few other hands to hold things he calls for help. I am hold thing the backboard steady, and leaning over it to hold the hoop in place, Mendy is behind the backboard hold this heavy metal pole. My brother slips the screws through the hoop, through the backboard, through the plate that is attached to the heavy metal pole. All four of these go in, but as he is coming around to put the nuts on the back of it, my sister-in-law let’s go of this weapon of destruction. The pole comes crashing down to the patio deck, but between the patio deck and the metal plate was my toe, my big toe! My big toe save the patio deck from being permanently marked by this plate! My big toe was hero!!! There was no fan fare though, there was no parade, because like some heroes my big toe was a fallen hero! I was literally screaming in pain. It couldn’t have been more blinding or more persistent. I mean it was letting up at all! My big toe kept getting bigger and bigger. We should have renamed it “huge toe”. It actually swelled up enough that I could no longer discern my toe print on the bottom of the toe… it was gone! I lost my toe print. So, if I were to die, I better not have dentures and have my hands burned they may not be able to identify me. Unless of course I am at home, with all of my belongings and identification on the nightstand, but notwithstanding that I need my toe print! We ended up going to an emergency care facility, which is NOT an emergency room, connected to a hospital with actual doctors. Nope, this is in a strip mall… medicine-in-a-hurry. There are no doctors, just ONE PA (physician’s assistant)… and a couple of nurses that looked a little suspicious. The drill a couple of holes in my toe… to release the pressure. That is as graphic as I am going to get… you want more, go see a horror movie, like Saw or Saw II, it looked just like that! The rest of the weekend, I spent with my foot in some sort of body of water. A bucket of water, the bathtub, the pool… I never had to resort to the toilet or the sink, but my toe was rarely dry which means it was always pruney.

We didn’t end up doing much else for the weekend, but I think Mitchell was pleased to have some kind of recognition that his birthday indeed arrived. He also had a cool story to tell all of his friends at school, about how his Aunt came in a whole person and left a gimp. I did go see a real doctor when I got back into town, I have broken my big toe, and it got an infection from the holes that bored into the top of it, but the good news is it could have been worse, that thing could have taken my toe off! Half full! It could have done a lot more damage than it did, I will never dance like Baryshnikov (yeah, I had to look that up to spell it) but my toe never aspired to that, I will never get the starring role in “My Left Foot”, my toe was never that artistic, and I may never be able to pick up a sock again without bending over… not gonna lie, I am gonna miss that. But I am gonna walk, play the piano, run for congress, and eat Cheez-its with gusto! So, you see, there is nothing but good news here… my glass… it’s half full!!!

Until we meet again!

Peace, love, and toe prints,
Martha