Update... Jan 22, 2007

Good afternoon to one and all.

Well, I have actually thawed out enough to write an “update”. It has been cold here in Dallas, really cold, and Aunt Martha (unless I am skiing) is not a big fan of the cold. It has been icy and rainy and literally below 40 degrees for a couple of weeks here, and that is parka weather for me. I am VERY cold natured, so when this sort of weather rolls in, I throw on everything in my closet before I head out into the great outdoors. I look like a five year old in a snow suit, you cant even tell its me in there. But let’s get on with the update shall we?

Well, over the last couple of weeks I have been working my butt off, my job has become the albatross around my neck… fun, fun, everywhere but not a minute for me. I have been working nights, weekends, I even had a dream the other night about allocation routines… that is bad folks! When you are coding in your sleep, you need to ask yourself… am I working too much? The software that I am working on is still in the final release stage but we have one customer who wanted to do the “early adopter” release. Which means they get the software for tons cheaper, but they have to go through the growing pains of seeing what bugs pop up, these people are bargain hunters but they can complain with the best of them. They have been running the software and a week ago Friday the application wasn’t doing very well… actually it was locked up, and they started the complaining. Well, I asked to get the log files sent over and the contact that I had out in LA, her name is Marlys, said that she wasn’t in the office but was close and it would take her 20 minutes to get them to me. I have learned that in LA 20 minutes is close. Well, more than an hour later I begin to worry about poor Marlys. Has she been attacked by some angry Chargers fans? Was she outwitted by a group of first graders and they took all her money? Or is she simply too stupid to find her own office that she goes to everday? No. It was none of those. After nearly an hour and a half, she calls and says she’s almost to the office, and she is sorry but she couldn’t find a Starbucks near the office and had to drive 30 minutes out of the way, and 30 minutes back. OH. MY. GOD. What??? Ok folks, I am not a native of LA, but I have lived in America since birth, and since the inception and proliferation of Starbucks ensued. She couldn’t find a Starbucks within 30 minutes of her office? There have to be 80 Starbucks within 30 minutes of my office, maybe more than that. Where is her office, Death Valley? But more importantly… couldn’t she just go in and email the files to me, and then go find a Starbucks? Was her venti, non-fat, sugar free, white chocolate, double shot, extra foamy, extra hot latte really that important? I guess it was. It took about 2 hours for me to figure out the issue, but it took the rest of the day of explaining it to people for my ideas to get buy in, and people still didn’t understand it. It wasn’t until 2 days later, when the new code set was implemented and they were no longer locking up that people just accepted that they didn’t understand but that functionally it was more important to just let it be. I keep remembering that patience is a virtue, but I keep wondering, why do I need to be virtuous? What did that ever get anyone? You don’t see the virtuous people at the top of the heap do you? Do you hear people say “Ah, that Bill Clinton, now he’s got some virtue” or even “Donald Trump, he got to where he is with nothing more than virtue and a comb”.

I have been able to make it to the gym, and this is where life has been getting better. We all make our New Year’s resolutions, and yes I realize we aren’t even a month into this, but mine is really starting to do well by me. I am actually starting (just starting) to see a real difference. I have been going to this weight training class at my gym. The girl that teaches the class is EXTREMELY muscular. She looks like she could be an American Gladiator. Actually every time I look her I hear Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice in my head, and he is saying “Gluh-dee-ay-tuhr”, her name is Heather, and she is married, and just like all wives I am sure her husband has a pet name for her. I would imagine he calls her “Thor” or something ultra muscly. You can’t call a woman like that, babydoll or sweet pea, no she could crush a “babydoll” or “sweet pea” with one bicep tied behind her back. She is a “Gluh-dee-ay-tuhr”. One of the most remarkable things about her is the smiling. She has a very bright and energetic smile, and she is constantly flashing it. It is happy and inviting and incredible ill-timed. Near the beginning of every class we have to do 3 sets of 16 push ups. Remember, there are only females in this class. She gets into her plank position and for her first set, has both hands down on the ground, one foot on the ground, and the other lifted, as she smiles and counts out her reps to 16. The rest of us are mostly on our knees, both of them, and turning purple. Then the second set comes along, she is smiling, and the legs have switched, the one that was planted on the ground is in the air the other has taken its place on the ground, and she is smiling… all the way to 16. Most of the class is still with her, but several have given up, and curled into “child’s-pose” which is a workout term for the fetal position. Yes, they have named the fetal position “child’s pose”, this is so that you don’t feel like such a complete moron when you have to give up, curl yourself into a ball, and weep softly yourself as your muscles cry out in utter agony. I am still with her folks, gutting it out, gritting my teeth, trying to look like it isn’t that bad, but the third set is just so bad. For the first eight she is doing one armed push-ups, and then switches for the last eight, and invites anyone who wants to follow her lead to do so. Yeah, let me tell you, that line is NOT long… no one does it! Ever! I have been to several of these classes with her now, and I have to tell you it is sheer greatness to see a new person come in and witness this for the first time. There they sit, in “child’s pose”, jaw dropped, and turning pale at the sight of this woman doing her push ups like a Marine station in Gitmo! She is GI Jane!!! Heck, she could kick the crap out of GI Joe… she is “Gee-aye Ahr-nuhld”. The first time I went to this class, the next day I thought I was not going to be able to make it into work, actually I was wondering if I was going to be able to make it from my bedroom to my bathroom. The pain, the soreness, was crippling. I could hardly blink without wincing, but I kept going and it is getting better. I still get sore after the class, but I am no longer shaking like a leaf trying to get to my car, and the next day I am at least mobile… don’t get me wrong, I am not doing one armed push ups, or bench pressing my car, but I am at least hanging in there!!! All I have to say is “Hea-thuh cahn pahmp… you up!”

For those of you who don’t know, I did audition again for another play… and I am excited to say, I got a part!!! Yay! I can hardly believe it, but I am super excited. The play is going to be in Plano, in March. I have to tell you, I am a bit surprised that I got a role, I thought I had totally bombed the audition. I could actually hear the booing when I left, but I was lucky and they had a spot for little old me. So I will keep you posted with more details!!!



Peace, love, and “poosh ahps”
Martha