Update... Mar 6, 2007

Hear ye… Hear ye… ‘tis word from the cube… my cube!

Just thought I would throw in a little Renaissance for ya… gotta keep you on your toes! Some of you I feel like I just gotta keep you awake. So let’s roll on with an update.

Ok guys there has been a BOAT load going on, and I don’t mean a small boat, we’re talkin’ super-tanker size, we’re gonna have to hit the highlights. So consider this your reader’s digest version of an “update”. March is National Optimism Month… so let’s really look at the positive side of things.

I have nephews, that is a declarative and non-negotiable statement. So far, I have come to learn that boys at around the age of 12 turn into “butt-heads”. It is the only phrase I can use to describe this metamorphism. I can only surmise that around their 12th birthday a voice enters their subconscious. This voice is low at first, but it builds, and over the next five years will simply corrode their minds if it is not killed immediately and monitored for re-growth. It is a cancer. It is the voice of “Butthead” from “Beavis and Butthead”. Hu-hu..hu… hu-hu-hu. I have declared war against laundry, war against mail, and just like terrorism and licorice flavored jelly beans I think this voice needs to be abolished! I have been fighting this voice in the heads of two of my nephews… and I am starting to win I think! Their grades are up. Their hair is short! And the race is on!!! I am think that like the medusa’s snakes, I have cut off one head, only to see the next pop up! But right now, my nephew Trent made an A on a science test… the first A on a test to my knowledge!!!! How great is that? Let’s hear it for the kid!!!

I am in another play, and that is screaming into home plate now. It is “tech week” and opening night is on Friday! Yikes. I have never felt so unprepared for anything in my entire life. I think I was probably even more mentally prepared for my own birth, and I cried right after that happened. So, you may see me in tears come this weekend. We are going to be doing dress rehearsals in the next couple of days… and my “costume” really isn’t even finalized yet. I have been so busy at work, and helping my nephew’s study… that I don’t think I prepared myself as diligently as I could have for this little play. The positive side of all of this is, a) everyone is messing up their lines, it isn’t just me. Poor Rachel last night was saying “I don’t know the lines and I am simply worthless.” The funny part was is that we were supposed to just keep going like it was a real show, I wonder how the audience would have taken that, I can tell you how the director took it… NOT WELL! b) most of the time in plays such as this, the audience doesn’t know if you messed up! They are clueless! They think you were supposed to trip and fall down, and forget half your monologue! As long as you look like you meant to do it… you did!!! So screw up as you like, but look like you mean it. c) I am not going to lose a Tony nomination no matter how badly I do! Nope, no Oscars for me…

Yes, work has been nuts, nuts I tell you! I was working long, late, horrific hours, but finally got the project done. The WM 9.0 Release is officially done and a “gold CD” is being shipped to some ultra swanky software convention in Germany. All of the sales guys are going to this conference… all of them! Apparently they don’t enough boondoggles, so let’s give them one more. Now, I haven’t actually seen the finished CD, but I have been told it is actually the color of gold. I find that a little strange, and really think if it was reflecting the amount of crap put into it…maybe they should have colored it brown. Just a thought, but I guess that is why I didn’t follow my dream of becoming a marketing executive… I’m too honest. You see, in order to be a marketing executive you have to be able to put a positive spin on just about anything! And in honor of March, which is “National Optimism Month”, I would like to explain to you the marketing executive’s role. You need to be able to, with a smile and enthusiasm, tell the CEO, “You know, fourth quarter sales were half of what we expected. The reason is that more than 80% of our sales force quit and we had to recruit girl scouts away from their cookie sales in order to fill the gap. They just didn’t have the experience or the know how to convincingly sell nuclear power generators. But the upshot is that the half-life on those generators is like 80,000 years… they got time to learn!” Yes, those crazy sales folks, they will really spread it on thick. They were kind enough to, before they are scheduled to leave, stop over at a nearby Albertsons and buy and enormous cake covered in that oh-so-sugary frosting, and emblazing “Congratulations WM 9.0 Team”. They even told us that they have already sold like $9M dollars worth of our software! Great news!!! Woohoo!!! I think one of them even thanked our project manager for his commission check. Now, that is real optimism folks… one that comes with some zeros behind it! My optimism for this month lies in the fact that I am nearly 100% confident that you will NOT see me at my desk at 1am on a Friday evening, or at noon on a Saturday, or missing my yoga class on a Sunday, or at 4am on a Monday talking to some Dutch guy about benchmarks… no I am going to be asleep, out and about, in yoga, or (dare I say it) relaxing at home?!?!?! You never know…


Well, I need to rush off… I have been in an all out sprint for over a month I hope you all have a wonderfully relaxing day… swing by Germany if you get a chance, and take a gander at the new software!!!

Peace, love, and optimism,
Martha