Update... July 9, 2007

Good afternoon… well, here it is the first “update” of July.

Now, for those of you who know me… you know that I love a good musical, even a bad musical will do in a pinch. So, today I find myself channeling West Side Story. I am at my desk, singing loudly in my head “I feel pithy, oh so pithy, I feel pithy and witty and bright! And I pity any girl who isn’t me tonight!” That being said, I will not bore you with a long drawn out “update” my friends… this one will be abounding with pith.

I have taken a BIG step recently. One that has been months, neigh even a year in the making… drum roll please!!! I. Have. Bought. A. Car. Yes, ladies and gentlemen the bank let me do it, and the devil made me do it! Now, we all have these little devils inside of us, and I am no exception to this tawdry rule of thumb. I have several devils inside of me, and one of these such imps is a car lover. Let’s call him “Marvin”, shall we? Now Marvin has loved cars my whole life. Marvin is big believer that anything that is a four cylinder should come with handle bars, and only true vehicles are made with six or more. Marvin is also incredible partial to creature comforts in the cars that he loves. Marvin needs cushy, comfy, leather coated seats…the more buttery they are to the touch, the better. Marvin needs seat heaters (he enjoys the warmer climates if you get my drift). Marvin needs CD players. Marvin needs a tight sport suspension, as well as a roomy backseat (wonder why…), a reliable manufacturer, and wood trim. Marvin is a tough customer, who is partial to silver paint with black interiors. It is hard to please Marvin who definitely has my ear when it comes to purchasing a vehicle. Unfortunately, Marvin doesn’t pay for the vehicles, I do. So after much deliberation, and a long searching process… I found it!!! A car that both Marvin and I could live with. I could live with the price and Marvin could live with the car. I am back into a harmonious state.

I bought a Lexus GS300. It is the car I was dying to own, and it is in the color that I dying to have. It is an amazing car. It has features on it I never even considered having, and it was at a price I could afford. It has heated seats, which are a must, but they are also ventilated. That is something I didn’t even consider, I thought “only really expensive cars have that”, but nope… mine does too! My tooshy is constantly kept at whatever temperature I choose, warm or cold, rain or shine… you will never see me sweat. Can you dig it?

It has Bluetooth. Ok folks, I am ALWAYS behind the times when it comes to this sort of thing. I didn’t even know that my cell phone was Bluetooth enabled, but it turns out it was! I have been burning up the cell towers with my new hands free device. This is so spectacular. This thing was made for me and all the women like me. I am a bad driver. I fully admit that, and I do understand that it is something that I need to work on, and I constantly do. But there are somethings people can do and somethings people can’t do, and for me driving is a “can’t do”. I simply don’t have the aptitude, and when you throw in the added distraction of a cell phone! I become a danger to myself and everyone else on the road. There I am in my car, trying to negotiate holding the cell phone, changing lanes and the radio station, as well as adjusting the temperature on the A/C, all the while screaming down the highway at break-neck speeds and scanning for policemen who have the speed traps out… don’t even get me started call waiting!!! Conference calling fuh-get-a-bowt-it. But now, my new car has Bluetooth. A call comes to my phone and the radio is silenced and the call comes on the monitor to alert me to the person who is calling me and I have the option of answering or ignoring the call…three words, “thank YOU Lexus”!!!

I picked my car up on the July 3rd. We were finally united, one small happy family. I actually was laughing in the car on the way home. It was more of a nervous laugh, sort of giggling. I actually started to weep. I know that sounds silly, but I was simply astonished that this car, this vehicle that I truly wanted and truly loved was mine. I felt not only lucky but honored to call this car mine. We have been together a week now, and I know that seems like a short time, but I know this relationship is gonna last. I have been so happy throughout the last week, and we have literally gone everywhere together! This is the beginning of beautiful friendship.

Now, my old car is still in my possession, but will soon be in the possession of my brother. But currently, it has been moved out of the garage that it has known for oh so long, and it is now sitting outside in front of my house. It looks a little sad out there. I little dejected. It has been a good car for so long and here it sits outside, like the dog who “did his business” on the carpet. Sitting outside, wondering what it did wrong to get here, it is wondering what happened to my garage? Are there really this many birds outside? I love that car, and I am glad it is going to a good home and I will have visitation.

Switching gears slightly, I would like to relate one final anecdote to this tale. It short so hang in there with me. I came home last Thursday from work and my air conditioning was constantly running. I was upset. This cant be cheap and I just bought a new car… geez! So, I did what any warm blooded female would do, I called my brother. I told him the situation and he bounced a few ideas off of me. I had to turn it off at the breaker box in the garage, because my brother said it could freeze up if it just kept running. So, I did that. I come home Friday and my house is a sauna. I could hardly breathe the air was so thick. My brother came over to fix the A/C. He goes into the attic, the absolutely hottest place in the house, and that is saying a lot. He is up there and I am scouring the house to find screw drivers and flash lights for him. He keeps asking me if it is “off” and I say “yes”. He takes off the control panel, he is flipping the switch in the attic, he is testing connectivity of wires, he is sweating profusely. Finally he comes down stairs and we move the hutch that is in front of the thermostat. And we look at it. Sure enough it says “off”, but the “fan” is not on “auto” it is on “on”. Crazy, right? So, I have learned another lesson of home ownership. There are two pieces to your A/C unit, one outside and one inside. And by God, before you call your brother, check all of the switches on the thermostat.

Until next time…

Peace, love, and Marvin,
Martha