Update... July 23, 2007

Good morning to one and to all…

Yes, I am writing an “update” that could only me one thing, one thing and one thing only… I am inspired! That’s right, inspired. Now, some of us gain inspiration through divine measures, personally I think my mother is constantly channel St. Agnacious… the patron saint of nagging women, and her inspiration in that rite is divine. She can literally call you at 7am, having just woken up herself and start in on you… that takes divine inspiration. I can barely function when I first wake up, and I can tell you at that inauspicious moment of recognizing that I am awake the last thing I am going to do is to call someone up to nag them, not to mention the simple fact that my voice hasn’t woken up yet, I sound like Barry White, and my teeth need to be brushed so badly I can hardly stand it. Others find inspiration in seeing the world around them. Painters have painted timeless works of art; inspired by the world that surrounds them. People drink in these sites and they are drinking inspiration. Now your probably asking yourself… what kind of inspiration is acting upon Aunt Martha, and I have to tell you, it is merely the experience of my little, mixed up life.

So let’s see what inspiration life has brought me!

Well, I have been interviewing and seeking not only a new position somewhere else, but also a new career path. I am just like everyone else, I hate interviewing. The problem with interviewing is two fold. Problem number one is that you are going through a procedure that is completely uncomfortable, and is much like the horror of a blind date. Yeah, you heard me… blind date. Just like a blind date you are generally meeting someone for the first time face to face and each of you, independent of the other, has to determine whether or not you are “good fit”. You have to determine if your personalities mesh, and moreover whether or not you have the same goals, all of this in the time it takes to watch one episode of “Lost”. At least on a blind date you have more time, and more alcohol. Alcohol helps. You can tolerate a lot more with a drink in your hand, moreover you may not be as nervous and may show your true colors a little more vividly. If I ever own my own company, I am going to interview people at a bar! Have a drink, let’s talk. Now NONE of the interviews that I have had, have included alcohol, but they have all been somewhat grueling.

You have to remember your buzz words, “team work”, “loyalty”, “dedication”, “tenacity”, “401K”… on a blind date it is the same thing, the buzz words are different though, “easy going”, “anit-anti-depressants”, “stability”. There are also phrases to avoid in both situations, upon meeting your new “friend” you don’t want to say in an interview, “do you have to be on time everyday?”, “what type of coffee is served in the break room? I only drink Starbucks”, “How many personal calls a day is considered excessive?”, “what’s that smell, don’t you people clean the carpets around here?”. There are some blind date phrases to avoid… for women they are “Why did you pick this place, it isn’t very nice”, “I do want children and my eggs are rotting, so can we hurry this along”, and “Is that your gut or is your shirt just doing that?” for men it is a bit different… “Good to meet you, but I thought you’d be thinner and better looking”, “Do you think we could go dutch on this?”, and “I have another date after this, so why don’t you just hit the highlights”.

Within the arena of interviews and dating there is gamesmanship involved, each side is playing their game of chess trying to get the best results for themselves… as far as interviewing the company wants a new employee that fits their needs with the lowest benefit package they can get away with, and the interviewee is trying to get the best position, with a career path that are seeking to embark on, and a smokin’ benefits package. Their objectives are divergent. In dating, the object isn’t as clear and it may or may not be divergent, especially on a blind date. He could be looking for a “Mrs Right” or a “Miss Thursday evening”, and on the female side of things…she could be looking for “Mr. As close to perfect As I could ever hope for” or “Mr. Buy me dinner”… neither knows definitively what they are up against and that is where the gamesmanship is involved here, and it is sneaky folks. The conversation is quick, but if you listen carefully, oh so carefully, you can find the underlying meaning in what is being said. There are codes that have been established and just like the CIA you really need to train yourself in this, don’t be a novice when dating… arm yourself before you head to the bar, restaurant, dog park, coffee house… hotel?

Interviews and dating can share the same questions… believe it or not. You will hear, “where do you see yourself in five years”, man that one is a killer. I hate that one in an interview, I hate that one on a date, I hate that one far and near, I hate that one ringing in my ear… because ultimately you have no idea what the “right” answer is. I mean if you were truly honest with yourself in the interview, and an ambitious person… you would lay it out there, “In five years I hope to be running this place, and I may fire your sorry butt for asking such stupid interview questions!” This is an interviewing tight rope, so you throw out the safe answer (which hopefully you have at the ready, as a canned answer). “I really hope to excel in my position here and see where that takes me, but my main goal is to be a true asset to any company I join”. Ta-Da! Like a rabbit it is whipped out of the hat for all the world to see. Now, if you are on a date and you get that question, there is no right answer… be forewarned anything you say… can and will be held against you! But don’t worry, there is a canned answer for this too, but you need to keep your cool, you need to make sure you are the submarine captain, the whole damn thing could be falling below crush depth, the haul straining against the pressure, rivets bursting and ricocheting around the room, water blasting in, and you need to sit there stony, drinking coffee easily from a china cup the saucer in the other hand, never let ‘em see ya sweat! The answer to this is simple, “Hmmm… I have several goals but I am not sure. I am like a leaf, I float upon the wind currents and go where ever it takes me.”


The biggest and most profound difference in these two is the ultimate outcome. In dating, you can either see them again or not, and you know there is always another fish in the sea. But with interviewing you are making a much BIGGER far more reaching decision. You are having to decide whether or not you want to uproot yourself and place your future earning potential in the hands of someone that you have met and spent a mere hour or so with. I mean seriously, there are always going to be positions out there, your “fish in the sea”, but this decision can take you down a path to financial success, or it can take you down a path of… “the company just filed bankruptcy because our CEO is an utter flake and has been borrowing money from the company and signed to debt agreements to cover the funds, so everyone who bought stock in the company and had their pensions with us, sorry but that is all gone. We weren’t Sarbanes Oxley compliant, but neither was Enron! Leave your badge at the security desk. Have a nice day”.


I think interviewing is far more stressful, the technical questions they ask, and the personality profile they try to put together… it is exhausting. But in both cases both parties have each other under the microscope, the only consolation to all of this is that it does end… this isn’t something that you will go through ad infinitum. Interviewing will stop upon retirement, once you retire you will never interview again! You have made it to the end of the game of life… no more spinning the wheel for you! Dating will stop when you get married, die, or just completely lose interest in the process and resign yourself to the simple fact that in the end, all you have is yourself.


On a completely different note, I have gotten the last Harry Potter novel and I have been completely consumed by it… I don’t sleep, I don’t eat… the only reason I can get an “update” done is because they don’t allow me to read at my desk! It has been a thrilling adventure that these novels have taken me on… it has been me and Harry the whole way through. I am 500 pages into the seventh novel, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I have to admit it is a mixed bag of emotions. I am looking forward to discovering all of the truths that will be told, but I am also a little sad to see the rollercoaster pulling back into its station. It is going to be over, and there is no getting back into line… I will get out of my car, with the rest of the fans and do what you do after you get off of a great ride, talk to people about it. You reminisce about all that went on , the steep plunges, the hair pin turns, the near death feelings, you re-hash them over and over again. We shall see what happens, but I am buckled and not leaving until it is over!!!

As always…

Peace, love, and check please?!?!
Martha