Happy Thursday everyone!
I am sitting in my cube, as I do every time I write an “update…”, and thinking of this coming weekend. That is really all that is on my mind, not the past, not the present, not even the far off future, just this coming weekend. I have tunnel vision, and my cross hairs are squarely laid on this weekend.
This weekend is a three day weekend. It is Labor Day baby! This is a great holiday, and I am really looking forward to it this year. But before I delve into what my ultra-cool-don’t-you-wish-you-were-doing-it-too plans, let’s really look at what this holiday is.
Labor Day was originally conceived by the “Central Labor Union”, to give the “working man” a day off… they thought this up in 1882! These guys beat down the doors of Congress and got an actual law passed, giving the “working man” a day off. I love this idea, and I think these men were true pioneers. Visionaries even! Personally I think that it is good to give the “working man” the day off. Although I do think it is pretty ironic what the “working man” means. In this case the definition seems pretty hit-and-miss.
If you are like me, and have a desk job (whether or not that is in a cube or you have an office – complete with DOOR) you are awarded a free day off. This is a good group to be in, and in the world of “the haves” versus “the have nots”… I consider myself proudly standing with “the haves”. Now if you are a not lucky enough to have a desk job you can still stand with “the haves” if you work for the government… those government employees get all kinds of holidays and Labor Day is no exception. If you work for the Postal Service (which is no longer part of the government) you get a day off. I would say sixty to seventy percent of the adult population will be granted a day off.
Who wont be getting a day off? Anyone in the service industry! These are the “working men” that get literally screwed on this holiday. They stand on their feet all day long… in malls, in restaurants… even at the car wash! They are working, they are laboring, and they are without a day off. What do they get to do on Labor Day? Well, if you work for a retail giant like Target, you get to enjoy the sales that are put in place and the abnormal crush of customers that aren’t ever present on a Monday. You get to work maybe a longer shift than you would have otherwise, and BONUS you get to clean up more crap out of the dressing rooms then you have ever seen on a Monday. If you work at a restaurant, you will get to experience a higher volume of not just customers… but of full-family customers! Kids of all ages, from high-chairs, to boosters, to just plain screaming in the booth next to their parents… these people are here to enjoy THEIR day off, and you are there to labor… to take the order, bring the food, and clean up afterward. You may just find yourself waking up on Monday morning, and what is that you hear? What is that humming noise outside? Don’t worry that is the lawn care service outside in the blazing September heat working! This is the group I used to count myself a member of… I never mowed lawns, but I did work in the mall, I did wait tables, I did “labor’ for years watching others enjoy their holiday, and now after all of that… the holiday is mine to enjoy… to relish… and to do whatever I want and get paid while doing it! I wish everyday was Labor Day!
This Labor Day has me traveling. I will be in New York City for my sister’s birthday! I cannot wait. I am so excited… I can hardly contain myself. All of the plans are set, all of the necessary arrangements have been made and it is nearly time to leave town and start to really have some fun. My sister has never been to the Big Apple, personally I think it is a place everyone should visit, and more than once. I love to go to New York with people who have never been to New York. I love to observe how they take it all in, and sometimes it is almost like watching a new baby find its thumb for the first time. That thumb has been there throughout the baby’s life, but they are just now finding it… and now that they know it is there it is there, they are going to wiggle it, they are going to stare at it, and they are even going to try to eat it. The same is true with NYC, they always knew it was there, but now that they have found it… they want to experience all that they can.
That is all for now… I still have some packing and stuff to do, not to mention the fact that I am at work and need to actually look like I am doing something for a couple of more hours, before I try to sneak out early.
Peace, love, and baby thumbs!
Martha
Update... August 15, 2007
Good afternoon to one and too all,
Well, I have been really busy enjoying all of the things that are me lately. I have been enjoying MY new car, I have been in enjoying MY new furniture, I have been enjoying MY time away from work, basically basking in the delightfulness of my life. Now, I am not trying to rub it in… don’t get me wrong I am appreciative that not everyone has my new car, furniture, and even moreso my sunny disposition, I understand the plight of others… trust me I have been there!
It was not but a few weeks ago that my tooshy would sit on a couch that did not match the rest of my décor and probably was purchased in the late 70’s. It wasn’t but a mere month ago that my tooshy would sit in a car that was nearly eight years old, and not only showing its age but overheating from time to time… not to mention the simple blemishes that it had that were put there by yours truly! It was not too much more than three months ago, that my tooshy would sit in my cube for hours upon hours… days stretching into weeks, and with no end in sight! It was the “iron butt” competition, and who could stand it the longest… who could hang in there… who could get the software rolled out! But today… I have leather couches, today… I have leather, air-conditioned seats in my car, and today… I am leaving work early!!! Today… my tooshy is tickled pink!!
So, enough about “me” for now… let me share some insight.
It has come to my attention that all men share a vocabulary that is unique to their gender. This is something that I strongly suspected, but now have complete confirmation. Now, many of you women that are reading this may be surprised… trust me I was… many of you may know this already, which means your married. So, I am now going to stand up and be counted, I am going to let the cat out of the proverbial bag! So, for all you women out there… who have a man in your life… when they talk to their buddies… start paying attention! Trust me this language is hard to pick up on and is generally shared while staring at something… most likely the TV, could be a power tool, but most likely it is a BBQ grill outside. This is where you will pick up on it!
I have come to learn that the BBQ grill is like the holy altar for men. It is where they create their magic, it is their source of “awe”. The better your BBQ is, the more awe inspiring you become to your fellow worshipers, and they want to join you at your altar more and more. You become the I Ching for your social circle. You are the Godfather, and all it took was a Weber Stainless Steel grill. Do not confuse this with a “smoker”… the smoker is a second class citizen in the world of outdoor appliances, and will never catapult you to the top of food chain. It is ahead of the fire pit and chiminea, but it will never eclipse the supremacy of the grill. I think this is why women are not shown how to operate the grill. I think this is why women are kept away from the grill. Women are not allowed into the inner-sanctum.
Now, what men say at the grill, stays at the grill. This is considered “the vault”. I have checked around… and the vault is widely known in the circles of men. Men will NOT rat each other out. Men will not tell their wives or girlfriends what one of their friends is up to, it just isn’t discussed. Women… rat each other out. It is who we are. A woman will burden her significant other with stories of ALL of her friends, whether he likes or not. If I tell one of my girlfriends a “secret” and she is dating someone… it is like a time-released vitamin. It is going to come out, she is going to tell him. It’s what we do. Now, the “time” aspect of this comes down to how juicy and embarrassing the secret is, if it isn’t that embarrassing or juicy… you’ve time. Could be days even. You tell your girlfriend, “I went to a company happy hour... got a little tipsy and the kissed the cute single guy that works on 4” You have lots of time until she tells her partner. You tell her, “I went to a company happy hour, got completely loaded, ended up dancing on a table with top unbuttoned, got thrown out, threw up on the sidewalk, and had sex with the married guy that works on 4.” You have until she gets home, that tale is coming out of her, and he is gonna hear about it. Now she thinks her mate is thinking, “Wow, glad I have you and you’re not like that” but he is really thinking… “Gee, if this doesn’t work out, I need to find out that friend’s phone number”
Men do not rat out their friends… they have “the vault”. If a guy goes to his friend’s bachelor party, he will NOT come home and say, “Whoa, that Bill is a renegade… you should have seen all the stuff he did at the titty bar, we got thrown out… too bad he is getting married tomorrow.” No, that isn’t going to happen. It is in the “vault”. If his mate asks, “What did you do?” He will dead pan her, “Nothin’”. If it was a really crazy not, she may get “Not much too much”… now if it was a really crazy night and the police were involved and it may actually be something she would find out about he will say, “I don’t really remember”.
Now, the crazy thing about this “vault” is that it is used for storage only. What is in there will never be taken out, so I ask all men… why not instead of “ the vault” have “the trash”… or even “the dump” or my favorite… “the incinerator”? Get rid of this stuff, just lose it. One day you are going to go into the freezer and ask your wife, “hey honey… I was gonna grill up these filets.” And she is gonna say… “Nope, their in the vault, we are just storing them.”
So ladies… get out there, talk to your men about THEIR friends for a change, try to crack the vault!
That’s all for now…
Peace, love and happy tooshies!
Martha
Well, I have been really busy enjoying all of the things that are me lately. I have been enjoying MY new car, I have been in enjoying MY new furniture, I have been enjoying MY time away from work, basically basking in the delightfulness of my life. Now, I am not trying to rub it in… don’t get me wrong I am appreciative that not everyone has my new car, furniture, and even moreso my sunny disposition, I understand the plight of others… trust me I have been there!
It was not but a few weeks ago that my tooshy would sit on a couch that did not match the rest of my décor and probably was purchased in the late 70’s. It wasn’t but a mere month ago that my tooshy would sit in a car that was nearly eight years old, and not only showing its age but overheating from time to time… not to mention the simple blemishes that it had that were put there by yours truly! It was not too much more than three months ago, that my tooshy would sit in my cube for hours upon hours… days stretching into weeks, and with no end in sight! It was the “iron butt” competition, and who could stand it the longest… who could hang in there… who could get the software rolled out! But today… I have leather couches, today… I have leather, air-conditioned seats in my car, and today… I am leaving work early!!! Today… my tooshy is tickled pink!!
So, enough about “me” for now… let me share some insight.
It has come to my attention that all men share a vocabulary that is unique to their gender. This is something that I strongly suspected, but now have complete confirmation. Now, many of you women that are reading this may be surprised… trust me I was… many of you may know this already, which means your married. So, I am now going to stand up and be counted, I am going to let the cat out of the proverbial bag! So, for all you women out there… who have a man in your life… when they talk to their buddies… start paying attention! Trust me this language is hard to pick up on and is generally shared while staring at something… most likely the TV, could be a power tool, but most likely it is a BBQ grill outside. This is where you will pick up on it!
I have come to learn that the BBQ grill is like the holy altar for men. It is where they create their magic, it is their source of “awe”. The better your BBQ is, the more awe inspiring you become to your fellow worshipers, and they want to join you at your altar more and more. You become the I Ching for your social circle. You are the Godfather, and all it took was a Weber Stainless Steel grill. Do not confuse this with a “smoker”… the smoker is a second class citizen in the world of outdoor appliances, and will never catapult you to the top of food chain. It is ahead of the fire pit and chiminea, but it will never eclipse the supremacy of the grill. I think this is why women are not shown how to operate the grill. I think this is why women are kept away from the grill. Women are not allowed into the inner-sanctum.
Now, what men say at the grill, stays at the grill. This is considered “the vault”. I have checked around… and the vault is widely known in the circles of men. Men will NOT rat each other out. Men will not tell their wives or girlfriends what one of their friends is up to, it just isn’t discussed. Women… rat each other out. It is who we are. A woman will burden her significant other with stories of ALL of her friends, whether he likes or not. If I tell one of my girlfriends a “secret” and she is dating someone… it is like a time-released vitamin. It is going to come out, she is going to tell him. It’s what we do. Now, the “time” aspect of this comes down to how juicy and embarrassing the secret is, if it isn’t that embarrassing or juicy… you’ve time. Could be days even. You tell your girlfriend, “I went to a company happy hour... got a little tipsy and the kissed the cute single guy that works on 4” You have lots of time until she tells her partner. You tell her, “I went to a company happy hour, got completely loaded, ended up dancing on a table with top unbuttoned, got thrown out, threw up on the sidewalk, and had sex with the married guy that works on 4.” You have until she gets home, that tale is coming out of her, and he is gonna hear about it. Now she thinks her mate is thinking, “Wow, glad I have you and you’re not like that” but he is really thinking… “Gee, if this doesn’t work out, I need to find out that friend’s phone number”
Men do not rat out their friends… they have “the vault”. If a guy goes to his friend’s bachelor party, he will NOT come home and say, “Whoa, that Bill is a renegade… you should have seen all the stuff he did at the titty bar, we got thrown out… too bad he is getting married tomorrow.” No, that isn’t going to happen. It is in the “vault”. If his mate asks, “What did you do?” He will dead pan her, “Nothin’”. If it was a really crazy not, she may get “Not much too much”… now if it was a really crazy night and the police were involved and it may actually be something she would find out about he will say, “I don’t really remember”.
Now, the crazy thing about this “vault” is that it is used for storage only. What is in there will never be taken out, so I ask all men… why not instead of “ the vault” have “the trash”… or even “the dump” or my favorite… “the incinerator”? Get rid of this stuff, just lose it. One day you are going to go into the freezer and ask your wife, “hey honey… I was gonna grill up these filets.” And she is gonna say… “Nope, their in the vault, we are just storing them.”
So ladies… get out there, talk to your men about THEIR friends for a change, try to crack the vault!
That’s all for now…
Peace, love and happy tooshies!
Martha
Update... August 3, 2007
Ok, I said I wasn’t going to write an “update…” for a couple of weeks, and at the time when I said that, I meant it. But when something significant happens in my life, something that has changed the landscape of my day-to-day living, as well as my overall outlook on the world itself, I think that deserves an “update…”, demands an “update…”, even harkens for an “update…”!
Now, you are probably wondered what happened in my life that would do this. The mind reels doesn’t it. Before I tell you want DID happen, let me tell you what DIDN’T happen.
Quick story… I get into work early, and when I say early… I mean early. The reason for this is so that I can leave early. It is all just a mental thing really. I feel like I get in early, I don’t have to see my boss for the first 2+ hours and I get to go home before anyone else. You sort of feel like you are beating the system, like everyone else is stuck in homeroom and your Mom just busted you out for no reason! It is great. So, this illustrious morning I got to the office around 6:45am. I check my email, and do my normal routine… of grabbing my oatmeal and heading to the break room to make the first pot of coffee and get my breakfast. Well, I had actually contemplated stopping at the donut store and getting donuts for all of my co-workers, it is sort of a “Friday” thing to do. I have done this in the past and I really enjoy watching the feeding frenzy. I work with mostly Indian men (from India not Native-Americans) and Chinese men. These guys are pretty funny about free donuts, I think it is the free part that really gets them cranked up. Seriously, these guys see free donuts in the break room and they are like a pack of lions on a zebra! You cant even see the box if you are passing by, you just see all the bodies swarmed around the table. The donut box isn’t even struggling to get free! It, like the zebra, has succumb and is merely being consumed. Anyway, I didn’t get the donuts this morning because I was afraid I would eat one, and I do NOT need a donut, so I am sitting there eating, trying to wake up when a co-worker comes in. We chat and talk about work, family, etc and he brings up his parents, and how his mother and father were both deceased. The conversation keeps going and he tells of how they were married for thirty years before his father finally passed, and I say… “That is really great, you don’t see that too much these days. People getting married only once and staying together.” And he says, “Oh, no that was my dad’s third marriage!” What?!?!? And it lasted thirty years?!?!
So here is the skinny… his dad was married for twenty-seven years, and then got divorced. Apparently, he took it pretty hard, and started to drink, heavily. So heavily in fact that he started drinking in Oklahoma one day, and woke up the next day in Vegas… married… again… to someone he just met. It took him six months to get divorced, back in the olden days it took longer to get divorced, and then he married for the last time. But you know that does make for some great leverage when you are a kid. I made a lot of mistakes growing up, heck I am still making them, and my parents would say… “Now didn’t we tell you that was a bad idea?” It would have been great, one time, just one time to be able to say… “You know it was a bad idea, but I never woke up in Vegas married!”
So that is what hasn’t happened to me… I am not in Vegas, I am not married… but I am officially an adult.
As many of you know, I have been diligently improving my home since I moved in three years ago. It has been a long hard road. When I bought they house it looked like meth lab. The kitchen was painted black with a black ceiling, the upstairs game room was purple with a black ceiling, there was red paint here and there… no carpet anywhere, just bare wood, and then there was concrete that was stained orange! There were no base boards, window sills, and it was, what I would call, a diamond in the pit. It was bad. You had to have vision to see the potential. Lots and lots of vision. But I have persevered. I have painted, polished and gotten furniture here and there. Most of my furniture came from my older sister who happened to be moving as well, and I became the beneficiary of that move. I have hung wood blinds, ok my brother has, and it has been a real family effort to get this house to where it sits today.
This week… I did something that I have never done in my life! I did something that has altered not only my house, but my life. I have bought brand new furniture!!!
In my thirty-three years of life I have never owned furniture that has not been previously owned by somebody else. I have never shopped for furniture for myself. I have done it for others, even seen it done on TV but never done it for myself. So, I ordered a new leather sofa, chair, ottoman, and tables for my formal living room down stairs. I place my order on Monday, and my furniture was supposed to arrive at 3:30pm yesterday. At 5:30pm I was sitting on the floor of my living room excitedly waiting for my new bundles of joy to arrive. I am sure this is what first-time fathers to-be feel. They are sitting there thinking “When is this thing gonna get here”, they are excited for it to get here, and they want to know what it looks like… does it “go”. I am sure that they first-time mothers to-be are thinking… “ouch!” The anticipation was thick, and I was so excited. Finally, a knock at that door. Could it be? Is it the delivery people? Ed McMahon? I opened the door and it was the delivery people!!! My furniture was here.
These two men came inside, Santa and his elf! They set up the furniture and even took the trash with them! I still have my tables coming… they were not available for delivery. That is like having twins four days apart, no new mother should have to go through that! I am so excited to get the tables in and have the room feel completed. The furniture is soft to the touch, yet firm underneath you. I was so happy yesterday I was literally bouncing up and down with joy. I woke up this morning and the furniture was still there!!! I am going to go home today, and I fully expect it to be there when I get home as well.
So far I am getting used to my new life, a life that is forever changed… in a house that is fully furnished.
Peace, love, and Vegas baby!
Martha
Now, you are probably wondered what happened in my life that would do this. The mind reels doesn’t it. Before I tell you want DID happen, let me tell you what DIDN’T happen.
Quick story… I get into work early, and when I say early… I mean early. The reason for this is so that I can leave early. It is all just a mental thing really. I feel like I get in early, I don’t have to see my boss for the first 2+ hours and I get to go home before anyone else. You sort of feel like you are beating the system, like everyone else is stuck in homeroom and your Mom just busted you out for no reason! It is great. So, this illustrious morning I got to the office around 6:45am. I check my email, and do my normal routine… of grabbing my oatmeal and heading to the break room to make the first pot of coffee and get my breakfast. Well, I had actually contemplated stopping at the donut store and getting donuts for all of my co-workers, it is sort of a “Friday” thing to do. I have done this in the past and I really enjoy watching the feeding frenzy. I work with mostly Indian men (from India not Native-Americans) and Chinese men. These guys are pretty funny about free donuts, I think it is the free part that really gets them cranked up. Seriously, these guys see free donuts in the break room and they are like a pack of lions on a zebra! You cant even see the box if you are passing by, you just see all the bodies swarmed around the table. The donut box isn’t even struggling to get free! It, like the zebra, has succumb and is merely being consumed. Anyway, I didn’t get the donuts this morning because I was afraid I would eat one, and I do NOT need a donut, so I am sitting there eating, trying to wake up when a co-worker comes in. We chat and talk about work, family, etc and he brings up his parents, and how his mother and father were both deceased. The conversation keeps going and he tells of how they were married for thirty years before his father finally passed, and I say… “That is really great, you don’t see that too much these days. People getting married only once and staying together.” And he says, “Oh, no that was my dad’s third marriage!” What?!?!? And it lasted thirty years?!?!
So here is the skinny… his dad was married for twenty-seven years, and then got divorced. Apparently, he took it pretty hard, and started to drink, heavily. So heavily in fact that he started drinking in Oklahoma one day, and woke up the next day in Vegas… married… again… to someone he just met. It took him six months to get divorced, back in the olden days it took longer to get divorced, and then he married for the last time. But you know that does make for some great leverage when you are a kid. I made a lot of mistakes growing up, heck I am still making them, and my parents would say… “Now didn’t we tell you that was a bad idea?” It would have been great, one time, just one time to be able to say… “You know it was a bad idea, but I never woke up in Vegas married!”
So that is what hasn’t happened to me… I am not in Vegas, I am not married… but I am officially an adult.
As many of you know, I have been diligently improving my home since I moved in three years ago. It has been a long hard road. When I bought they house it looked like meth lab. The kitchen was painted black with a black ceiling, the upstairs game room was purple with a black ceiling, there was red paint here and there… no carpet anywhere, just bare wood, and then there was concrete that was stained orange! There were no base boards, window sills, and it was, what I would call, a diamond in the pit. It was bad. You had to have vision to see the potential. Lots and lots of vision. But I have persevered. I have painted, polished and gotten furniture here and there. Most of my furniture came from my older sister who happened to be moving as well, and I became the beneficiary of that move. I have hung wood blinds, ok my brother has, and it has been a real family effort to get this house to where it sits today.
This week… I did something that I have never done in my life! I did something that has altered not only my house, but my life. I have bought brand new furniture!!!
In my thirty-three years of life I have never owned furniture that has not been previously owned by somebody else. I have never shopped for furniture for myself. I have done it for others, even seen it done on TV but never done it for myself. So, I ordered a new leather sofa, chair, ottoman, and tables for my formal living room down stairs. I place my order on Monday, and my furniture was supposed to arrive at 3:30pm yesterday. At 5:30pm I was sitting on the floor of my living room excitedly waiting for my new bundles of joy to arrive. I am sure this is what first-time fathers to-be feel. They are sitting there thinking “When is this thing gonna get here”, they are excited for it to get here, and they want to know what it looks like… does it “go”. I am sure that they first-time mothers to-be are thinking… “ouch!” The anticipation was thick, and I was so excited. Finally, a knock at that door. Could it be? Is it the delivery people? Ed McMahon? I opened the door and it was the delivery people!!! My furniture was here.
These two men came inside, Santa and his elf! They set up the furniture and even took the trash with them! I still have my tables coming… they were not available for delivery. That is like having twins four days apart, no new mother should have to go through that! I am so excited to get the tables in and have the room feel completed. The furniture is soft to the touch, yet firm underneath you. I was so happy yesterday I was literally bouncing up and down with joy. I woke up this morning and the furniture was still there!!! I am going to go home today, and I fully expect it to be there when I get home as well.
So far I am getting used to my new life, a life that is forever changed… in a house that is fully furnished.
Peace, love, and Vegas baby!
Martha
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