Update... Sept 17, 2007

Good afternoon consumers! Let’s dish, shall we?

Ok, so I find myself in an exceptional mood this fine Monday afternoon.

Monday’s are historically not good days for me. I hate Mondays. To quote “Office Space”, I always have a case of the Mondays. This isn’t a Monday phobia, I am not afraid of Mondays. It isn’t even the fact that it is Monday, it is more a function of the fact that my weekend is over!!! So, if Monday is a holiday… then I hate Tuesday. Do you see the trend? It is whatever day that killed my weekend is the day I hate. This is one of the trillion reasons I am looking forward to retirement. My mother is retired, and that woman is in a permanent state of Saturday. Everyday is Saturday! She can stay up late every night, sleep in as late as she likes, wear whatever she wants to wear… no dress code!!! She only has to turn her computer on to check email, and best of all… lunch is anything you’d like for as long as you’d like it! No geographic restrictions… no having to get back to the office… THERE IS NO OFFICE!!! I love my mother, and I love the Saturday-life that she leads. I want to lead that life!!! I have so many years ahead of me… but trust me folks, I am going to the poster child for retirement. You are going to have to surgically remove the smile from my face, when I turn the page of my life and the only word on the next page is “Saturday”.

Consumer note: Just like retirement needs to be budgeted for… so do the Saturdays of your life! Save up during the week so you can really splurge… eat Taco Bell during the week, pop open a can of anything for dinner… because you are gonna want to have some cash to really live it up on Saturday. For your retirement… seriously people… your 401k should be your best friend. One day, I want to be able to loan Warren Buffett money.

So, let’s see what happened this past Saturday. This past Saturday, for me, was awesome… let’s see what it brought me. I woke up Saturday and was feeling good. I had been really under the weather last week. I was feeling so bad last week, that I literally thought that this may be what happens to you right before you die. It was bad people. I rallied though and even felt pretty good on Saturday. I could breathe at least two breaths before coughing… that is what I consider improvement. I was feeling so much better than I had in the prior days that I felt lighter… free-er. I felt like, not only was the monkey off my back, but that the elephant in the room that was sitting on top of the monkey on my back was completely gone as well!!! Angela called early in the morning, “What are you doing?” she asked. “Not too much.” I answered. And then she said it… “Well, the world is our oyster my friend!!!!” This became the anthem of the day. The world was our oyster! Well, at least Dallas and the surrounding areas were our oyster! And what an oyster it was! I head down to her apartment, and let me tell you... driving from Frisco to White Rock never seemed easier. That monkey is totally gone… it was a breeze… I felt good, my car seemed to be peppier, my CD’s seemed to lilt through the air, my karma was bright pink as I barreled down the Tollway. I pick her up… front door service no less… and we head over to Hotel ZaZa to have brunch at Dragon Fly.

Consumer note: I love Hotel ZaZa, and that is weird for me. There is something about this place. It is chic, but that’s not it. It is soothing, but that’s not it. It has the coolest robes, but that’s not it. It is totally indescribable but if you ever want to “get outta town” without leaving Dallas… rent a room at ZaZa. I co-hosted a bachelorette party there and got upgraded to a Magnificent Seven Suite… it was truly magnificent! Holy crap that room was bigger than my house and was so much better decorated. It was decked out. I felt like Martha “Puffy” Newton or P. Newty Martha or something really bling like that, and that is the feeling you get at ZaZa… go down and grab yourself a Saturday of that!

There we are sitting outside by the pool at ZaZa. The day was perfect for this, the weather was warm but not too warm. They had the misters on, and the little fountains going in the pool for atmosphere. It was just great. The waiter came over to talk to us about the menu and mentioned that they had a “bottomless mimosa” for $15. What?!?! That is truly excellent and what a great way to start your Saturday… that is, if you like Orange Juice!!! I do NOT like orange juice. I don’t like oranges. I do wear the color orange, and I don’t root for teams whose main color is orange… hello, UT?! But Angela does like orange juice and happily ordered that. I felt it behooved me to ask, “Do you have a bottomless Bloody Mary?” the waiter turned to me and said “No.” I immediately began not liking him. I ordered my bloody mary and we sat there chatting like true sophisticates. Happily talking about the issues of the day over our morning cocktails, and being served while at the pool. I am so bling. We don’t speed through the meal, and we linger a bit longer than we normally would. I mean obviously it was Saturday and there was no rush, the world was our oyster, so that meant the world would wait for us. Angela had a bottomless glass that kept getting refilled so there was no need to leave thirsty. And I think we were both just really enjoying the leisure tempo of our day and its glorious beginning. We finally head out and decide our next destination should be North Park.

Consumer note: North Park Mall has been re-modeled. Do not go to North Park on a Saturday. Even if the world is your oyster… they are too many other people in that part of the oyster on a Saturday.

We go to North Park Mall, and it is packed. I parked just outside of Nordstrom, in the garage and stroll in. We do a bit of shopping there, and then proceed to enter around six other stores in the mall. We finally had had enough shopping and decide to head for the car. Now the important part about heading to your car is remembering where your car is. I really believed that my car was on the second floor of the garage. I believed it with all of my being. I left Nordstrom walked into the garage, onto the second floor, and looked and didn’t see my car. I was immediately alarmed. This sense of panic literally washed over me… it made my face hot, my neck sweat, and my heart race… it was like a pulled the fire alarm at school and was sitting outside the principal’s office waiting for punishment. My mind raced, I KNEW that was where it was supposed to be. It took nearly five minutes of me walking around blindly and anxiously before I decided to go up to the third floor. I did, and there it sat…my beautiful, completely not stolen, car. It was great to have it back… even though it was never gone.

Consumer note: Panic early and often.

We headed back to White Rock Lake and went for a walk. It started to get really toasty out there, so we cut the walk short. Why over exert yourself on a Saturday such as this, right? We ended up going back to get the car and to go get pedicures. There is nothing more relaxing that a pedicure. Someone is there not only massaging your feet and lower legs, but they are also making your feet look pretty for weeks to come. It is the perfect combination of aesthetics meets relaxation… you cant get that anywhere else. There isn’t anything else out there that provides you with beauty and relaxation without any pain involved whatsoever. We walk in and we wait for a paltry five minutes maybe before they sit each of us into our big, huge, leathery, oh-so-comfy massage chairs (I love that part too). At this point the only thing that could make this better is if they handed me a martini and a winning lottery ticket. Other than that… I was good.

Consumer note: The pedicure place that we went to was down off of Mockingbird… apparently teenagers go there. The pedicure was going flawlessly and much relaxation was being had by all until a teenager sat down next to Angela. The worst thing in the world happened, she recognized one of her friends that was sitting on the OTHER SIDE of the salon… so what does she do, does she move over to be next to her friend… no, she just starts talking at an unbelievably loud volume in order for her friend to hear her. They talk about stuff that made me laugh and blush and want to beat the crap out of her all at the same time. She goes to Ursuline Academy in Dallas, her friend goes to Bishop Lynch. They were talking about homecoming and who is dating who… one of their friends apparently has a boyfriend and it is serious… but the girl doesn’t know if she wants to get MARRIED yet. Hello!!! I am 33, and that is struggle for me to get to that mindset!!! Omg!! This is what they are grappling with? I say… finish high school, go to college, do some traveling, and start paying taxes before you decide if you want to get married!!! Geez!!! It was hard not to bust out laughing… but seriously if you go in to get a pedicure and you see some teenage girls talking, know this… the conversation will under no circumstances stop or even hit a lull, it will get louder, it will get more inane, it will at some point make you want to abandon your pedicure in order to save your brain cells, but it will also make you laugh with pity.

After my pedicure I dropped Angela off, it had been a big day, and I still had more to do… I had a play to go see Saturday night! Which I did. It was good, but the world didn’t feel like my oyster anymore. It was just my world again. It was a fleeting day, but one I will always remember. One filled with possibilities and a pearl around every corner. I hope your Saturday was that good… heck I hope this Saturday is even better… maybe this Saturday San Francisco will be my oyster!!!

Enjoy the week!!!

Peace, love, and oysters!
Martha